This Mother’s Day, let’s get rid of the old bag. Har har.

Here at Baroque Mansions we get a lot of PR emails. Very, very rarely do they have anything to do with the contents of the blog, or with anything we might even conceivably have an interest in. I made a mistake once, years ago, of clicking ‘lifestyle’ on a media listing – back when I used to write more about lifestyle-related things – and this is what I get.

Normally I let even the annoying ones go, but once in a blue moon I get an extra-annoying one. One happy day a few years ago it was a £140 leather book cover designed by Radley ‘in collaboration with’ Penguin, to ‘rehouse Penguin Classics’.  I sent the PR a blistering email saying that Penguins are design classics, one of the iconic products about which England can be really proud, and beloved the world over; that Allen Lane had made Penguins 75 years ago precisely to put the best design and access to the best literature in the hands of people who didn’t have £140; and that, in any case, £140 for a leather paperback cover was mot only pretentious, it was obscene in an era of cuts and austerity. Yeah, I really let her have it. Well, a  few months later – after my job had gone in the cuts – the very same email arrived in my inbox, sent by the very same person.

Today, for the second time in a week, I received an email for an equally ludicrous product. I thought it was hard to believe anyone had actually signed off on this email, given the frankly incredible nature of its opening headline. But I clicked on their website, and find that the home page features a self-consciously ‘modern’-looking (but somehow dated) video of a white woman and a black man having a good time over 90p worth of tea bags in two nineties-looking cups, with the headline, goodbye old bag! (Hyperlink mine.) It’s Mother’s Day in two weeks and presumably everyone is shopping hard.

Are you going to give her an “old bag” on Mother’s Day? Or are you going to make her a nice cup of TeaPod tea?

At last, an alternative to the messy tea bag ~ the TeaPod ~ the new way to drink a richly flavoured and fragrant cup of Organic, Fair Trade tea.

You remove the TeaPod from its water and it does not drip ~ NO MESS.

It’s made from triple laminate food grade foil that goes in your recycling bin after use ~ NO WASTE [sic; & it doesn't say triple-laminated with what].

Unlike a tea bag it does not require squeezing nor wringing to extract the flavour ~ NO BURNT FINGERS.

Also, the TeaPod’s innovative design lets you use it to stir the tea ~ NO NEED FOR A TEASPOON.

To make a cup of Bistrotea, you simply remove the TeaPod from its paper envelope, put it in a cup, add boiling water and gently stir the TeaPod for a few minutes. Let it stand for a minute to further infuse, then use the TeaPod to stir in your sugar and milk (if required when making english breakfast tea). It will now be fully infused, so remove the TeaPod and tap it once on the edge of the cup to discharge any excess water, then pop it in your waste recycling bin.

Each TeaPod is packed at point of origin using premium grade, organic tea leaves, harvested, selected and processed in Sri Lanka (formerly Ceylon)
on Fair Trade estates.

Eleven different blends are available, so there is a blend of tea to suit all tea lovers! [There is anyway: even tea lovers who don't use Pods.]

[edited out: list of flavours]

Infuse your Passion!

I did the maths. They retail at 45.6 pence each.

Maybe us old bags LIKE the misery.

{ 4 comments }

Steerforth March 15, 2014 at 8:40 am

I received the same email, which was rather badly written. As for the video, it was creepier than a Gold Blend commercial.

At the moment, I’m usuing a marvellous product that encloses tea leaves in a thin mesh of permeable, compostable paper fibre which, when placed in a cup of boiling water, effortlessly infuses its properties without wringing or squeezing – a simple stiring motion before removing will suffice. The “TeaBag” costs less than 2 pence per cup and is regarded as a huge improvement on today’s wasteful and expensive TeaPods.

Simon R. Gladdish March 15, 2014 at 11:40 am

Dear Katy

It’s when you start getting PR emails from Nigeria that you really need to worry!

Best wishes from Simon

Simon R. Gladdish March 16, 2014 at 3:43 pm

Dear Katy

The humble tea bag is already almost perfect. Trying to update it for the 21st century is a bit like trying to reinvent the wheel.

Best wishes from Simon

ganching March 19, 2014 at 8:13 am

I had a look at the ad! It is very, very funny although whether intentionally so is another matter.

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