The world of film (in clerihews)

It can't be just me. I find this picture really unsettling. Maybe it's the hunger in his infant eyes.

With thanks to George Szirtes, who started the whole thing. Here are my better ones.

Polanski
Got really fanski
with his famous tracking shot over the Dakota.
But nicer? Not one iota.

Kubrick
could be a bit thick:
when it came to being all human and warm,
he preferred form.

Depardieu
is in his milieu
portraying broken noblesse,
or peeing on the stewardess.

Some come to Godard
Trop tard:
for, to really admire a gamine,
it helps if you’re either a bloke, or 15.

Richard Burton
drew the curtain
over his marriages. Regarding divorce,
He drank, and expressed remorse.

‘Ingmar’,
said his wife, ‘I wish you would sing more,
not just sit there playing chess against Death and being glum’.
But Ingmar kept shtum.

Pressburger knew a lot about nuns.
Pretty ones.
About George Gordon Lord Byron,
less: but he was tryon.

(It helps here if you know that the scariest nun in Black Narcissus – the maddest, baddest and most dangerous to know, and the most ‘luminously beautiful’, as the phrase keeps going in this house – was played by Kathleen Byron.)

WC Fields
never yields:
falling down the stairs, he holds his martini still and never drops ix,
not caring whether he smashes up his coccyx.

And yesterday we were having fun with a misspelling of Cary Grant – ‘Grant Kray was in Four weddings and a funeral. He’s the one that kneecaps Simon Callow’ – which I’m sure planted thoughts of Mr Leach:

Cary Grant
loved his aunt.
When he was alone,
He would try her eau de cologne.

{ 6 comments }

Mark Granier September 29, 2011 at 11:10 am

Martin Scorsese
knew it wouldn’t be easy
to shift Little Italy to a new location,
but he gave in to the Temptation.

Mark Granier September 29, 2011 at 11:14 am

Oops, meant to say ‘…to shift his Mean Streets…’ (but you get the idea).

tristan forward September 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm

i love the moment where the bad nun puts on the lipstick

when we saw it in the national film theatre, the loved one gasped aloud, “i want to know the name of THAT lipstick !”

Simon R. Gladdish September 30, 2011 at 9:32 am

Dear Katy

You certainly put me on the spot there! The best I could come up with was this:-

Helen Mirren
Thinks she’s a siren.
In my opinion
She resembles an onion.

I thought that yours were fantastic, by the way.

Best wishes from Simon

Simon R. Gladdish October 3, 2011 at 10:18 am

Dear Katy

I’ve thought of another one which probably won’t make me very popular.

Michael Caine
Is a dreadful pain.
Despite his luck
He’s still as common as muck.

Best wishes from Simon

Simon R. Gladdish October 4, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Dear Katy

You would only need another ninety or so clerihews for your difficult third volume (fifty pages: two per page). If it ever comes to pass, I promise to buy a copy!

Love from Simon

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